Photos of Cinnamon

This one's been called... "stick em up"

She has the saddest eyes I've ever seen!!

Nothing to update except we got a new kitten

Cinnamon (the kitten) isn't really angry at Pepper, I caught her in a yawn. The cats have adjusted to each other well and often nap together, they are doing that right as I type this in fact lol.

Easter

Philippians 1:21, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain"

What hope there is in this death, in this moment where God gave up his life for me, for us all. I chose this death, this hope and welcomed it into my life over 3 years ago. It is in this hope that I lay my burdens down at the feet of my Saviour, knowing that he will take them from me and that His will will be done. I often wonder what His will for my life is; is it to be a mother? Am I to raise up a child to be a light to the world? Will I ever know the sweetness of being called mommy? I do not claim to know His will, how I wish I did for certain, but I do know that I feel the tug towards motherhood so strongly that my heart aches when I see a child. My body tingles at the thought of holding a baby and saying she is mine, of placing her in a crib that would be just down the hall from me. I do not know why I became infertile at a young age, I do know that God has a plan for all of us and that he loves me... that gives me the strength to get through each day. Each day I wake up, childless and no closer to being able to change that situation it seems; but each day does take me one step closer to my child.... no matter how tiny those steps are right now, I know this with all that I am, with all my heart and soul. At just the right time God will reveal His plan, he will answer my prayer when the timing is right and when His will can be done.

Nursery colors

It's been awhile since I've posted... it's hard to come on here everyday and post things when it hurts to know there is such a long wait!

I've busied myself with picking out colors for the nursery when it's time to paint. We are going to put a chair rail up in the room and paint the top part the lighter color and the bottom part the darker color but then create stripes by verathaning.. my mom did this in her spare room and it looks great. She's offered to paint the mural of Noah's Ark on the wall as well.... I've always wanted a Noah's Ark type nursery. I think it will look great, we had to compromise on the colors because Paul didn't want pink and I didn't want the burgundyish color he picked. Purple is his favorite color and a close second of mine but I didn't want a dark purple. A lot of our house (bedroom quilt, bathroom accessories) is decorated in similiar shades of purple so it should flow well.

Sometimes I feel like an elephant... they have to wait almost 2 years to give birth, this process will be about the same amount of time for us too. LOL picturing this.

Where does your heart live?

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My heart lives for Christ, God is ever present... but still that line "give thanks in ALL circumstances". That one got me today I have to admit. I had a tough situation today that I've never before as a christian or as a preachers wife had to deal with. I am ashamed that I didn't deal with it better in my own heart, I felt so hurt that I think I blew things out of proportion... I don't really know for sure. I haven't taken steps yet to speak with the person in question but I know that I should, that I need to clear the air with my sister in Christ; but it's hard to be vulnerable isn't it.

We recieved the FOI info package on Friday, I could hardly wait to open it and read every inch of it! It seems a little more real now, even though we are still at least 2 years out from the 'gotcha day'. It was great to read more about the process and what we will need for our dossier and more detail about how much it will cost and why. I didn't realize that the actual agency fees are quite low, it's the cost of getting all the paperwork done and the travelling that drives it up to $20,000. I am a bit glad that I am only 29 and that we have a whole year to save money before we have to start paying any of those fees, I don't know if I could handle the stress of saving in the midst of the homestudy and paper chasing.

Please pray that I will be able to work out these hurt feelings and forgive my sister in Christ for her comments.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well it's my 29th birthday! I had a fabulous day thanks to my wonderful husband, spent my morning relaxing at home and then he took me to an my birthday present. An hour long aromatherapy massage and spa manicure... I feel wonderful now!

I know it is going to be hard waiting for this next year to go by... I just want to be 30!! I am going to have to focus on the things that are going on in the next year more so in order to get by.

I found this book today When You Were Born in China: A Memory Book for Children Adopted from China, but Chapter didn't have any when I was there. It's written for a child about how they are special and are from this amazing country called China, it has some great pictures in it as well. I think I'll keep my eyes open for it and maybe I'll pick it up one day... it looks like it would be great for explaining to your child about where they come from.

I just got a birthday cake from Paul... look at how sweet he is..

The answer is no

I finally heard back about the job at the bank I interviewed for, the answer was no. They hired internally.
Honestly I am disappointed, I don't know what type of job I really want to have but I thought this would be an interesting change. My birthday is tomorrow and I just got told no to the job... I'm feeling a little bummed right now.
I think I'll go shave my legs.